hello! back with another round of bad things. for whatever reason, this one ended up being kind of gross? i’m calling it the body horror issue. sorry in advance.
1. makeup wipes and their complete inability to eradicate mascara
why do i have to have mascara under my eyes for 4 business days? i don’t like to use micellar water because it’s sticky. i wash my face but that doesn’t get mascara off either. help!
2. tony’s chocolonely
i just really don’t like the name of this chocolate. ‘chocolonely’ rolls off the tongue like a slur. this is another one of those things where i really don’t care if it’s good — i hate it on principle.
3. aritzia
everything here is a beige squareneck bodysuit that costs $99. i played the game for a while but i’ve had enough. this place sucks!
4. when you feel a stray hair on your face but you can’t locate it so you just claw at yourself for 20 minutes
does this happen to anyone else?
5. hair the second it leaves your head
disgusting instantly.
6. sitting on a wet toilet seat
sometimes you don’t look hard enough in a dark bar bathroom and you pay the price. stay vigilant out there folks.
7. google meet
show me a more laggy and terrible videoconferencing platform. you can’t!
8. ramps
everyone is always raving about these but they are too garlicky for my liking, i’m sorry. i also feel like it’s always ramps season somehow??
9. dance circles
white people we have to stop! every wedding dance floor does not need to devolve into a giant circle! i’m not saying NEVER, just LESS.
10. the way all social mores go out the window when it comes to farting on airplanes / in airports
the way my senses have been assaulted by my fellow passengers on recent flights has seriously disturbed me. why is it free rein for some people the second they pass TSA? i’m sorry this is gross but i need to raise awareness and shame around this topic.
11. miscellaneous
being in a dark restaurant when the sun is out, oscillating fans, the way ballet flats look on my feet, the return of ballet flats as a stylish shoe, the everlasting struggle against having to pee in the middle of the night (11:30 pm), starbucks cold brew, the epidemic of plastic surgery in the love island UK villa, when your sunglasses slide off your nose because you’re sweaty, and the outlandish price of organic raspberries.
that’s all for now! reminder to submit your good things (or bad things!) here:
Zoom is my personal public enemy #1 — actually impressive how I have to shut down and update every single time I open the platform 🙃
I'm still an Aritzia victim. HELP ME!!