#JANUARYISOVERPARTY!!!!!! thank god. the only legal reasons you’re allowed to like the month of january is if it’s your birthday or you live in the southern hemisphere where it is summertime. otherwise — get a grip, freak! sorry to be so hard on january but like the sun has not shone in 15 days + counting in new york and i need somewhere to place the blame.
happy february and happy birthday to my boyfriends, harry styles (today) and paul mescal (tomorrow)!
1. paul mescal’s chicken shop date
thinking about this man makes my stomach hurt. i’m so dead certain that we would hit it off if we met. we’re talking delusional insane levels of parasocial crushing. amelia dimoldenberg does these interviews with celebs called chicken shop dates. it’s like the british version of hot ones, but with a lot more flirting. paul mescal’s came out on friday and i was positively giddy watching. i spent like 2 hours screenshotting it with captions and trying to make a meme that ultimately only my close friends insta story saw. paul, if you’re reading this, please split the g with me sometime!!!
2. this subway dog
i feel totally ambivalent about dogs. i don’t necessarily dislike them — there are plenty of my friends’ dogs that i love. but i definitely don’t understand the way people act about them. like, a little rat dog walks by and all of the sudden you’re crying and twitching and trying to pet this strange creature as it yaps at you? and you do this every single time you see one? that is simply not my ministry!
however, the other day, i had what can only be described as a spiritual encounter with a member of the canine species. i was wallowing on the train after work, exhausted and in an aggravated, period-induced mood. all of a sudden, this gorgeous gorgeous girl on a pink leash elegantly struts her way into the car and sits her warm little body against my leg for a moment. something switched inside of me. i felt my blood pressure lower; the tension in my shoulders ease; possibly a tear form in my eye. i think i’m a little touch starved but that’s neither here nor there! she was so special. she changed my life and i’m just as shocked as you are. i will never forget her!
3. you hurt my feelings (paramount+)
is this movie good? no. but did i BOL multiple times because julia louis-dreyfuss is the GOAT? yes. this is a perfect sunday afternoon watch that you can doze off in the middle of. JLD is a writer who overhears her husband talking about how he thinks her new book is bad (nightmare) and then they fight about it. the movie never really lands the plane and would’ve been 45x better without the son subplot, but the vibes are strong.
4. the zone of interest (A24)
i saw this last sunday and thought it was very good. it depicts the banality of evil through the story of a nazi family who lives next to auschwitz because the dad is a commander there. the sound design was really affecting, and i was surprised by how gripped i was by the story despite it not really saying anything new. i don’t know that it rises to the level of the best picture nomination that it got, but still, great film. another W for the sandra hüller hive!
5. twinings sleep+ camomile, cinnamon & vanilla tea
i don’t know what it is about this tea, but whenever i drink it, i feel like a benevolent witch has cast a drowsy spell on me. there is allegedly only one milligram of melatonin in each bag, so i have to assume they crushed up some drugs and hid them in there too because this stuff knocks me out. go get yourself some and enjoy a night of deep sleep before the FDA pulls it from the market!
6. another thought experiment
writing this newsletter is funny because i don’t consider myself a particularly positive person. i try my best, but my internal monologue airs on the side of cynicism and worst case scenarios. it’s not my best quality and i’m embarrassed about it! recently, in the dark days of january, i’ve been running a little experiment. every time i catch myself making a negative observation in my head, i have to counteract it with a positive one.
consider a recent example: “there’s so much dog shit all over the sidewalk in my neighborhood… but i haven’t stepped in it (yet)!”
and another one, also about dog shit: “i am in midtown, the worst place in the entire world. everyone is crashing into me and walking too slow… but hey, there’s way less dog shit up here because dogs don’t live in times square!”
you get the idea. i was kind of gagging writing this to be honest (and not because of the dog shit). it’s giving tHe PoWeR oF pOSiTiVe tHinKinG WiLl SaVe YoU which i certainly don’t believe. but in situations when i’m being a grouch, it’s a helpful reframe!
7. this tweet from RGIII
♡ good thing from a good person ♡
matt soden is someone who i can only describe as an instant spark of joy. he is one of the most hilarious, kind, and fun people i know. my cheeks hurt from laughing and my cup is full every time i hang out with him. 10/10 person! a gift to know him. here is matt’s good thing:
some people bike, others practice yoga. for me, there's nothing quite as soothing as watching middle aged women rip each other apart. it's stationary and much less sweaty.
i’m a bravo sl*t and a franchise fan. watching these womens’ relationships with each other is like eating mcdonalds, half way through and that deep passion you once had turns into hard abuse. season 4 of the real housewives of salt lake city (rhoslc) just wrapped and it was a triumph. a fritz bernaise. unhinged, unmissable TV that deserves nothing short of an EGOT (luce, as a gay i cannot lowercase this accomplishment).
the show centers around the lives of 7 women, all of whom are rotten and self-absorbed. the season prior had lost its mo-jo with the departure, conviction and imprisonment of jen shah (a terrible human who made great TV), but saw a rebirth this year with a new housewife by the name of monica who was a former friend/assistant of jen #craylikecray
there's varying degrees of toxicity that exists in all gay men which is probably why we gravitate so much to the housewives, particularly the ones completely unhinged, but monica…monica was maniacal (only to be outdone by her mom who makes medusa look like goldilocks in comparison). she was hot, she was fresh, she was crazy, and i loved all of it.
the season culminates in bermuda with the women exposing monica for not being who she says she is and plotting against them for years. trust believe when i say it was a talespin i am only recently coming out of
watching it all unfold, suckin’ the marrow out of every last detail...it’s like when you're cutting wrapping paper and you get to the point where the scissor just effortlessly glides. ugh! pure bliss.
it’s hard to say what will come next in this franchise, as monica will not be returning for season 5. my guess is we haven’t seen the last of her and my hunch is she’ll be picked up by the producers of oxygen’s snapped when she inevitably murders her mother.
in the end, what i love the most about the housewives though is don’t we all just want some stark contrast to better reinforce our own lives? some visual to hold onto as our head hits the pillow that says, “at least I didn’t coordinate a nationwide telemarketing fraud scheme stealing millions of dollars from the elderly today” (jen’s crime). this is the draw, this is the appeal, it’s therapy…all of which these women desperately need.
thanks for being here! my goal between now and next week is to finally see poor things and to kick whatever new illness has taken hold of me now. will report back my thoughts.
xoxo
Sleep + seems like the product I need right now! You have also influenced me to watch Julia's new movie.
I love to read your “good things’ newsletter! It’s like eating chocolate in the sun!