and just like that, my “16 carriages” and “don’t forget me” privileges have been revoked. i have played them enough times over the last 7 days to get me committed to an institution. in order to preserve the sanctity of these perfect songs, i am consciously uncoupling from listening to them for at least 3 business days. thank you for your support during this time.
onto the good things!
1. ‘16 CARRIAGES’ (beyoncé)
sixteen CARRIAGES… drivin away… while i WATCH THEM RIDE!!! with my FEARS AWAYYYYYYYY!!!!!
THIS SONG! this song. “texas hold ‘em” is a bop but “16 carriages” is an ANTHEM. it’s the heir to “daddy lessons” and the start of beyoncé officially reclaiming country. she’s going to remind us all that it’s a genre invented by black people, not some dude named toby or morgan. lots of tik toks speculating what this song is about, with some saying that it’s alluding to a funeral procession and the end of her career after act iii… we’ll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. i am so beyond thrilled to see what she’s going to do with act ii. still quite confused as to why she announced these songs with a verizon commercial though?? but capitalists are going to capitalize. i can’t wait for a few days from now when i’m allowed to listen to this again. it’s really for me and my fellow boo-hooers:
2. one day (netflix)
now THIS is the platonic ideal of a sunday watch. it’s about a boy and a girl who meet on their last day of university and begin a long, will-they-won’t-they type deal. dex (leo woodall) is a hot, rich himbo with a good heart but lots of asshole tendencies. emma (ambika mod) is a bookish and smart young woman adrift in her twenties, trying to find purpose and be a writer but failing to execute. it’s 16 episodes which seems insane, but actually isn’t enough. it’s very visually pleasing, with eps in rome, london, edinburgh, and greece to name a few. ambika mod is a STAR and i can’t wait to see her in more things.1
3. an abbreviated seven layer dip
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i made this dip for our super bowl watch party and it was delish and super easy. i’ll write the ingredients you need down below, but what i really want to talk about here is how utterly unfeeling every single super bowl commercial was. it’s not necessarily a good thing when a paid advertisement makes you cry, but there weren’t even any tear jerkers! watching all of these saturated, emoji-esque spots was disorienting. it left me feeling even more resolute in my belief that we just want to FEEL THINGS and soulless, AI generated art will always fail miserably on that front.
dip ingredients: refried beans (1 can), sour cream (a few scoops), campari tomatoes (4-5), red onion (1/2), red pepper (1), green pepper (1), jalapeño (1), lime (1/2), and tortilla chips for dipping.
4. winter fridays
this is my official pitch for corporate america to adopt winter fridays. getting off early in the summer is all well and good, but really think about it for a moment… the time we need desperately to log off at 1 pm is clearly the winter, when there are 45 minutes of sunlight per day. summer is full of happiness! winter is one long grasp at holding onto our sanity, and the least they could do is cut friday work days short. i do not have a full-time job but rather two part-time jobs that equal 40ish hours, which means i am technically the final boss, so i do treat myself to a winter friday occasionally. i shut my laptop at 3 pm and run to the park or the waterfront and stare into the abyss to start my weekend off right.
5. “24 hours of highly subjective wisdom” (slate)
this article is very good things coded. the slate staff went through every hour of the day and wrote a little blurb about the perfect thing to do at each respective time. things like: “9 a.m. is the absolute earliest flight departure time you should book” (i need to heed this advice) and “6 a.m. is the ideal time to maintain a pure and innocent creative state of mind” (agree). and this one really made me laugh:
6. fourth wing (rebecca yarros)
this is one of those books that i’d never read in a million years... unless all my friends were reading it. which they were! so i did.2 and i loved it. the story is juicy and the pacing is great — it makes up for the terrible YA dialogue. it’s harry potter x hunger games x twilight with the smut turned up to 1000. i need to order the next one in the series expeditiously.
7. winning games of chance
i am one of those wretched, annoying people that is really competitive and can’t play laid back games with friends because i WILL pout if i lose and sour the vibes for everyone involved. i also have an even more annoying complex about how i never win any games of chance. but it’s FOR A GOOD REASON! which i will now tell you about before getting to the change in my luck this weekend:
it all started in mrs. kolodzik’s kindergarten class at mary, seat of wisdom school. there was a jar in which every child’s name was written on a stick. each morning, we’d sit on the rug with our beloved teacher as she picked two sticks out of the jar: one stick for the line leader who got to hold her hand, and one stick for the person who got to sit next to her during story time. you have to understand, these were highly coveted positions. and you know what name never got picked? EVER? lucie sullivan. two chances a day, never my name. i like to think i was a good sport about it at first, but i also kind of doubt that. my name NEVER!!!! got!!! picked! all i wanted to do was sit next to my teacher as she read a story! and i come from a long line of people with big tempers! it was not easy!
at the end of the year, mrs. kolodzik came to our house for lunch (because i guess this was a normal thing catholic school kindergarten teachers did? idk) and told my mom how bad she felt that my name never got picked. she said she would sort of laugh and cross her fingers that it would be me because she hated seeing how disappointed i would get, confirming that this was indeed a recurring event and i didn’t just make it up in my head.3
a few years later, in probably 3rd or 4th grade, the answer arrived. my friend (but i guess enemy at some point) (who shall remain nameless here) admitted to me that she TOOK MY STICK OUT OF THE JAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! therefore i had to suffer every day, hoping my name would be picked even though there was a 0% chance it would because i had been sabotaged by my fellow kindergartener. diabolical! if an editor wants to commission me to write a story about this, i will call [redacted] and ask her why she did it.
so that’s why i have trust issues with games of chance and am generally kind of a bad sport. i mean, can you blame me???
HOWEVER! this weekend, the winds of change blew my way. I WON A GAME OF CHANCE! for the first time ever!!! the super bowl square game where you write your name in a random box and if it corresponds to each team’s score at the end of the game, you win! and I WON!!! for a football game of all things! winning like this is soooo fun i love it. i’ve been riding the high all week. sticks be damned!!!!
♡good thing from a good person♡
maeve hourihan is one of my very favorite people on the planet, but i’ll have to get in line behind the 100 other people who also feel this way. she’s the kind of person you just always want around. i’ve never had a bad time with her and in fact, there have been many times that were a little bit too much fun. maeve also has a knack for storytelling — have her tell you the tragic tale about her dog, or the time maggie mcdonald almost died in the schroeder showers if you get the chance. there are few people i’ve laughed harder with. she’s simply the best. here’s maeve’s good thing:
Irish Sea shanties
Can you think of any other genre of music that makes you want to lace up the Steve Madden combat boots you have stored in the back of your closet from 2013 and start walking to Ireland to harvest a dirty spud for dinner? I don’t even want butter! These are the urges I have when I fire up a classic shanty. Though some argue the purpose of sea shanties lost their true function towards the end of the 1800s when the latest greatest marine technology replaced merchant sailing vessels.. I beg to differ. Irish Sea shanties have pushed me to new limits, mentally and physically, during some of the most stressful moments of my life! Walking a mile home from the grocery store in the pitch black at 5:30 on a 19 degree evening? Play Row Me Bully Boys at maximum volume and I promise it will leave you wishing you didn’t put the pack of la croix back on the shelf. Forgot your gloves? Good. Don’t need em. Maximum strength = instantly activated.
Big work presentation? A power pose in the mirror doesn’t hold a candle to the power that comes from within after listening to The Last Shanty. In fact I think I’ll SING my presentation now.
Fighting the most debilitating Sunday scaries of your young life? The Humors of Whiskey is the closest thing we have to reversing Saturdays decisions! This warm hug of a song will undoubtedly carry you through. Queue the Hozier cover and you’ll be feeling brand new.
As we gear up for the most wonderful time of the year , I encourage you all to join me aboard the Billy o’tea. Happy shanting lads and lassies.
On a side note - what an amazing shift in energy to be consciously searching for good things every day. I literally got hit by someone riding a skateboard while I was admiring the Washington square arch from afar (listening to an Irish classic with a trap twist) and the good thing was… it wasn’t a car. Life is good!
so long sweetie pies! you are all my valentines.
and leo woodall in less things, if you pick up what i am putting down
“if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you???” my answer to this question has always been unequivocally yes
at a certain point she could’ve just rigged it in my favor, don’t you think? that’s another thing i’ll explore in my commissioned essay
Your such a talented writer!