good things 05.07.26
skunk at the garden party, meet virginia, the poca dots
congratulations everyone! against all odds, we have made it once again to ice cream season.
1. “In defense of the skunk at the garden party” by Priya Parker
one of the core tensions of my life is that i am an avowed hater and also an extreme people pleaser. whenever i witness someone in a live social setting who shares candid feedback such as: “the lighting in here sucks” or “hey, that thing you posted on social media recently was insane,” i am equal parts delighted, disgusted, and jealous. in the latest installment of her newsletter on group life, priya parker talks about the rarity of the ‘skunk at the garden party’ these days, and why we should welcome them rather than try to solve for them:
“I was recently at a friend’s house for dinner. As we were eating, my host, Philip Gourevitch, told us a story about his Russian grandmother. A young family friend had come to visit her in New York, where she served him tea. He began enthusiastically describing a romanticized book about the Bolshevik Revolution. She, a Menshevik, had lived through it at his age and had watched the revolution destroy its own, Philip explained. She listened attentively, then said, in her rich Russian accent: “It makes me want to vomit.” The young man assumed she had misunderstood. He repeated himself with even greater enthusiasm. She nodded and said, “Yes. It makes me want to vomit.”
Somehow, we fell into a conversation about how rare a comment like that seems to happen today, in good company, in real life…
Hosting is an act of creation. Gathering is about connection. It is also about power. Who you bring together, under what auspices, and who you place alongside one another are all acts of creation. And perhaps none is more direct than the decision of who to invite.
If the host wields power at a gathering, every guest also holds some. But as guests, our toolkit collapses into two blunt instruments: polite silence or burning the house down. We lack the language and the imagination for what lies in between.
Perhaps we ought to name it.”
2. the fluke crudo at evelina in fort greene
any time there is a flower in my food or drink it’s like ok what do i look like to you, a bee? thanks let me just move that off of my plate and hope there isn’t dirt on there. i almost never want a flower on my food or in my drink. but this dish at evelina was so pretty and so good i am making an exception.
3. the deterioration of the lyrics to ‘meet virginia’ by train
the first few verses it’s like yes!!! love virginia’s vibe. she sounds awesome. smokes a pack a day oh wait that’s me! but anyway… still loving everything going on here. but then they completely run out of road and are like shoot i guess we no choice but to rhyme ‘life’ with ‘life’ three times. it’s so funny i love it.
4. the poca dots
recently a woman complimented my polka dot shirt and instead of simply saying “thank you” i of course launched into a long response about how i am clinically obsessed with polka dots. she then told me the best fact i have ever heard in my life, which is that there is a town near where she grew up in west virginia called poca and the local high school’s mascot is THE DOTS. the poca dots. i’m sending my children there!!!!! almost heaven, (poca) west virginia.
5. new kacey musgraves album, specifically this song
lots of toe tappers here but i’ve played this one 89 times in the last week. the arc of the album beginning with dry spell and ending with mexico honey… i am so happy for you kacey musgraves.
completely forgot how chaotic meet virginia is hahaha but will definitely be blasting it in the car later