good things 12.04.25
dirty dancing's plot, i'm a tulip in a cuP, home for christmas
it’s december baby you know what that means! time to listen to the saddest songs available.
here are some good things:
1. dirty dancing
why did this movie evade my attention for so long? of course i’d heard of it but the plot as far as i knew was: teens are dancing. i wasn’t that interested. amazing to be so wrong! teens (who are portrayed by actors that are at least 30 years old) are not only dancing but getting pregnant and having illegal abortions at the resort which interfere with their summer jobs gyrating for a bunch of old people on vacation and then a girl who is called ‘baby’ has no choice but to learn to perform and save the day so that patrick swayze can continue earning a living moving his hips and sweating. this is the hottest film ever made. it seems like nobody is gyrating anymore! i didn’t need to google it to know that this was directed by a woman.
2. “i’m a tulip in a cuP”
it’s so hard to get anything done right now for two reasons: 1. it’s the intervening weeks between thanksgiving and the new year and 2. i can’t stop singing this one line from valentine by fiona apple. all day long i’m walking around going “i’m a tulip in a cuP … i stand no chance of growing up.” i’m this close to making it my instagram bio (still off the app mostly but i’m allowed to use it on sundays now like lent).
3. “There Is No Mary Problem in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’” by Clare Coffey
‘it’s a wonderful life’ is such a special movie to me and many others. but there’s been some debate in recent years about mary’s storyline and her fate as a spinster in a life without george. clare coffey takes care to evaluate the debate and whether mary is given her due in the film. she concludes that viewing what happens to mary as a problem and not the most romantic, durable vision of love there could be is extremely off base. just like the movie, this essay made me weep.
“Mary could marry any man in town. She doesn’t want to. She wants George. She takes the measure of George, seeing something in him that he can’t see, and which is perhaps only partially visible to us. What Mary sees in him does not reflect any of the abortive visions George has for himself.
It is Mary who sees the potential of the old house from the first, Mary who acquires it and patiently restores it over the years. It is Mary who sees the oncoming bank run as well as its solution, Mary who offers up their honeymoon money without wasting time either asking for permission or indulging in regrets. George’s life is shaped by a recurring characteristic act: the heroic acquiescence to duty when circumstances require it. But Mary sees the greater vision from the start. She is determined that George will lasso the moon, even if she is the only one who can see it in the sky.”
4. this american life ep 875: i hate mysteries
this episode is about how to live with the unknown, something i’m exceptionally bad at. in the prologue, we meet a group of second graders who are trying to guess what’s in a box. at the end of the exercise, their teacher says she’s not going to tell them what it is and that they’ll have to accept the mystery. the kids are not happy with this answer and one of them shouts “I GET SICK WHEN I’M WONDERING!” which made me laugh so hard and perfectly sums up my problem too. i get sick when i’m wondering!!! the third act is a snapshot into the situation with ICE in chicago right now that really puts everything into perspective.
5. Numb at Burning Man by Sam Kriss
as i mentioned, i am addicted to scrolling. now that it’s not instagram or tik tok OR the snapchat ball game (kicked that habit) it is substack’s notes feed. it’s more productive than all of those though because i come across incredible essays like this one. british writer sam kriss gets invited to burning man and goes in with an open mind, but the cynic in him cannot be eradicated. what he finds is the modern iteration of New Age Thought in all its glory and terror. it’s the kind of gonzo style of magazine reporting no one wants to pay for these days but i love. very good long read.
“One of the stereotypes about Silicon Valley that people like me, humanists, book people, love to console ourselves with is the idea that it’s populated entirely by utilitarian drones, who only care about lifeless things like productivity and efficiency and increasing their ARR. They live in homes with no art on the walls. All their clothes are black or grey. They eat protein paste and supplements for dinner. Meanwhile, we flatter ourselves with the notion we’re the only ones who really care about the higher things, beauty and meaning and so on; that we’re fighting against human paperclip maximisers, willing to indifferently scrub out everything important in their quest to totally optimise the world. The reality is much, much worse. These people are deeply spiritual. They are obsessed with meaning.
What I learned is that tech bros care about everything. They want to foster real, profound human connections. They want to form deep, nourishing, authentic communities. They want to plumb their own consciousness through every spiritual or pharmacological avenue there is. An intense fascination with the idea of myth and ritual, the acts and archetypes that draw people together. Storytelling, life as a narrative art. Egregores. Tulpas. They are constantly inventing new religions. Searching for a mission, some purpose, to give structure to their lives. All their friendships need to have an explicit purpose. Their job at a B2B SaaS startup isn’t about exchanging labour for money; they really do expect it to be deeply imbued with significance.”
6. hjem til jul (home for christmas) (netflix)
i have to go to norway now because it is apparently the pinnacle of culture. between sentimental value and this random christmas show that was brought to my desk by molly berigan, i’m convinced the norwegians know something we don’t. at first i thought hjem til jul (a name i’m obsessed with saying) was going to be a trashy hallmark-esque story but it is full of heart and humor and drama and layers. american christmas content does not come close. season 3 comes out december 12. watch it!!!!!!! quickly!!!!
spotify wrapped was fun but the whole ‘LOL it’s telling me i’m 75 years old 🤪’ got annoying so quickly. i don’t know how to not be a hater sorry!