bad things
speakeasies, hideous AI infographics, jury duty
it’s a beautiful day for the first ever GOOD THINGS SALON! if you start reading and listening now you can finish by 7 pm. see you tonight at Prima!
also, there are whispers and inquiries about a chicago satellite salon. on the one hand, everyone i love hanging out without me is my worst nightmare. on the other, there is a lot of interest. stay tuned for more on that possibility next month…
here are some bad things that have piled up since last time.
1. making eye contact with someone when you are doing something weird with your tongue
it’s always a hot person or your coworker.
2. speakeasies
i don’t want to go to one. i’m not val from broad city. this is not the prohibition era. how about this — have a sign outside that clearly marks the bar. i don’t have time to play games.
3. the heinous disgusting AI infographic font
the thing that enrages me about these infographics is not the laziness. i understand the power of imagery and the challenge of generating that imagery if you are not artistic. it’s not even the use of AI for a creative endeavor either, believe it or not. there’s no stopping that train. the transgression is in how absolutely hideous it is. there is a much better way to be lazy and unimaginative that isn’t so offensive to the eye. canva is free and takes about 13 more seconds than what i imagine it takes to type into chat gpt. STOP DOING THIS!!!! IT’S SO UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. talking on the train
only if we are coming home from a night out or a movie otherwise, i don’t want to talk at all. not even if you were paul mescal.
5. the G continuing to be closed every weeknight and weekend
hey guys are they making the G train into atlantis? can’t imagine any other reason it would be taking this long. HURRY UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need to get home from williamsburg.
6. the name markwayne
adventures of huckleberry finn ass name.
7. the show jury duty and its affiliates
either be a reality show or be a sitcom. you can’t be both. i stayed silent during season 1 but i’m officially coming out to the public as a hater of this series. i can’t understand what people see in it because i personally have never laughed once. checked back in on season 2 and guess what? i’m still not laughing. not to mention the ethical implications. real freaks are watching neighbors on HBO.
8. miscellaneous
exorbitant minimum spends when you try to make a reservation anywhere in new york for more than 5 people1, raw chickpeas (don’t ask), taking your phone off of do not disturb and finding that no one tried to disturb you, the endless stream of financially crippling venmo requests, being unable to pay your friends back on credit (does anyone want to start an app with me?), coach from survivor and his stupid hair, ozzy from survivor’s stupid mullet, and my inability to acquire a purse or bag that isn’t ugly.
seriously though, you gotta watch neighbors on HBO.
same time next week!
prima has graciously reserved us the space for GOOD THINGS SALON for free but if you are coming pls buy a drink! thank you!
"my inability to acquire a purse or bag that isn’t ugly" hahahahahhahaha